Thursday, November 11, 2010

A Letter

To the heroes of my life,

I apologize profusely to cause such a callous monotony in my blog, but I somehow cannot restrain myself at this point from pouring down all those unspoken streams of gratitude for some very special people in my life to whom I owe a great amount – who made me laugh, slapped the truth right across my face, taught me to suck it up and learn to walk on my own, reminded me of the inner self that was somewhere lost amidst the bacchanalianism of love and eventually muster up enough courage to live life the way it should be lived. So, a little message to my sister, a certain pseudo roommate of mine, the cutest guy I’ve ever been teased with and another person who wasn’t just a senior in age, but also in the diverse forms of art, creativity and life– I’m free – finally … I have stood up to life and have taken my first tentative steps to transforming from that dumbass sighing crybaby to a stoic warrior. The journey to this establishment wasn’t what one would call a bed of roses, but it was somehow less thorny, easier with your support, like the cool shades of a giant oak tree to a lost traveller, and an oasis to disillusioned void eyes. The inspiration from each of your words, your company somehow was the Midas’ touch that my parched life craved for. You let me get hurt at the right times, and held my hand when I needed the most.

Thanks a lot , my best pal, whose abysmal sense of humour and unconventional doses of harsh truth was the last straw that saved me from drowning. Nothing more needs to be said between us, really..!! I wish everyone gets a talisman like you.

All my best wishes to one of the greatest human beings that God manufactured. May he get all the wonderful things that life offers, all the success and bliss. No one could have inspired ‘mojaaaa’ as he did, even in a dead soul. Thank you for listening to all the whining and making fun of it, for all the warmth, all the healing that you did. Thank you for the untimely notes and late information and the silliest idle addas, the breathtaking songs and your unspoken care. I’m deeply moved. Thank you, for seeing me off one last time. Know that, life without you loses the very essence of living and laughing along the whole path. The cup with milk written on it stands still, but it misses that impish grin across the table with a ready joke on my meager diet. Your sunshine flooded my recuperating soul, and acted as a strong pillar throughout. I can never forget that.

All my gratitude to one vexed senior of mine, to all those calls explaining about the struggle for existence and the mirth of life, to his patience in listening to a puny girl complain and bitch about someone, to act as a guide in the littlest of matters, to have made all the fine arts events in college such a pleasure to have been associated with, for all the true and false flattery over whatever I have written till date, for his undying support in all the steps I took, for his undaunted belief in my love, and his untainted confidence in my strength. You made me realize my worth in my eyes. The lost symbol, that elixir, is, as I discovered a little too late, friendship-the power of this beautiful bond. Few come to know the absolution of friendship. I was one of those lucky few, thanks to you. I have met a handful of people who could influence my thinking, impress me, but your depth of knowledge and perseverance still awes me. Afterall, how many could have had the patience to work on a lab copy twice – once for yourself, and then for someone else?! Jokes apart, I’m grateful that my journey featured you in the few crucial chapters. Your footsteps cannot be erased over time. And don’t worry, someday you’ll surely learn to swim, and then you can equal me..!! I hope this dedication works as a belated birthday gift to you.

And finally, all my love to a doting sister, who has endured all my tantrums. She’s been everything that a girl needs to be a girl – a mentor, a guide, best friend, a sister. I cannot imagine the past few months without her, I cannot imagine the future without the long and endless nocturnal discussions spent on deciphering the purpose of life and the fairness of it all.. she’s my fortress and punching bag, she’s my hidden floor tile and my mirror. No words can express what I feel for you. Thank you for being there. Always.

This said, I’ll wrap up. The letter was for the aforementioned people. I need you to know, I have learnt a new lesson, I have grown up a bit more, my branches have spread further, roots have strengthened. A new journey has begun with no blemishes of the past. The golden memories you bestowed on me is safe in my treasure box. They have been a constant source of strength and inspiration in every trifle matter I ventured into. I cannot put enough emotions in these words that I scribbled to justify my gratitude. Thank you for my rebirth.


Monday, October 4, 2010

The Original Sin

Let me unfold a story untold-
About a li’l cherub born in a crib of gold.
She had white creamy skin and large dark eyes
Little feather hands and a smile as heavenly as sunrise;
She was brought up in a paradise of bliss
With thousands to attend to her every single wish.
Her playful fingers made clouds curl,
And her naughty feet caused rivers to bend and swirl.
The Gods showered their love upon her;
And said she would live happily very after.
An enticing creation she grew up to be
You could call her the Heaven’s crowning glory-
But destiny had other things in store;
A blooming life of blithe is not forever more..
Far away on a no man’s land
Was a shining aura, a mystic hued band,
Floating in the black mass of sky;
The sinister land isolated by citadels high.
A spark of curiosity brought the feet of qualm
Of our little cherub to the land of death and calm.
The stillness of death, silence reverberating,
Darkness ruled and the winds kept wailing..
It was a trap, a devil’s snare;
A mystery hole, a demon’s lair-
Where sly laughing shadows of sins did loom
Drawing her, charming her to her doom.
The brambles and thorns bruised her face,
Lost and alone, she felt the terror of that place;
She cried out loud, she wanted to flee
In her frenzy of hopelessness she fell on her knee
Pleading and praying for that guiding light
But alas! The demons then blocked her sight.
Shrouded her with their gloom and sin
And see! None of the Gods came to save their kin
From that pain, that death, that unbearable misery,
The silent onlookers of her death penalty.
She lay there breathing, her heart still beating
A battered dark remnant of a once beautiful being.
Still hoping that her savior would come one day
Heal her, embrace her, show her the way.
Her ugly remains burnt in agony
As she felt life retreating slowly.
She reached out for the nothingness in the air..
But for her, the Gods had no more to spare
The tears came in a despairing flow
She lay there aghast, in the wilderness of her woe-
Waiting for those sunlit hours
Waiting for those purifying showers
Desperate to leave the darkness behind
And to breath in and embrace again life’s sunshine.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Home ..

The receding memory lane in the rear view mirror narrows down into oblivion;
the familiar greens, the loving shades, that culvert
flash past speedily, melting into time
the last day all muddled up in a blur
as I leave behind my Neverland.
I've watched thousands of splendid suns
rise everyday to console my fears
Set each day to give new hope -
the wondrous moon with all its brilliance,
peeking in through my window
The twinkling stars scattered over a beautiful midnight blue
The refreshing gales rushing in through every directions.
A Harry Potter reader hid in a blanket with a torch
in the silence of a hot summer night;
the red overslept eyes in the morning -
I'd miss the lazy afternoons,
the blissful slumber enveloped in a warm rug
the terrace of my mischief, my sorrows, my grudges and mirth,
the guardian of my fearless love; of my exuberance,
of the Tulsi plant.
Of that unforgettable moment of true love.
My magic mirror which never failed to lie to me,
my beloved treasure in papyrus.
The cemented pathway of unselfish bonds, of callously wasted time,
Of irresponsible careless days and sharing of tears and joys.
I'd miss the air whooshing past my ears
the tinkle of bells, the rhythm of wheels,
the sloping campus roads beneath a bicycle;
the crunch of dry leaves in an early winter morning;
the peaceful walks beneath canopies of mammoth trees,
the enticing rainbow of seasonal blossoms,
a freshly washed horizon with sun baked clouds -
All slowly dissolve into the glorious past for a glimmer of the future through a crack in the wall.
The grass that captured a child's first steps
and the frolic of innocent caprice -
of hushed gossips in the long wee hours,
the memorable picnics in warm autumn afternoons.
I still feel the revered echoes of the dhak , and the wafting puffs of incense and sandalwood
and the way my entire world converged within those four fences - thrived, hurt, fell and rose.
Now with the retreating of the golden hours I wish I could hold on to this haven for a moment longer.
call it "home" for one more minute
As unsure steps surge me forward -
Looking back, I'll find peace in that fortress of strength and love
A place always to fall back upon-
to hide;
to revel;
to get lost in that maze of memoirs and find myself again, every time.

P.S. : this one's for mom and dad .. and all those who make my home the way it is - insane, loving and fun..!!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The first chapter's last line....

A couple of hours more and I'll loose another of my favourite persons to the flow of time and the tale of life.
Hundreds of leagues away, somewhere on a different planet - the one person who I always fell back upon, who vexed me like hell, whose sluggishness drove me crazy, a devout chocaholic who never got tired of chocolates in any form, who never studied, packed nor did anything except in the last minute, who could cheer up a lost soul with her obnoxious PJs, the one who could talk of fried fish when your pet fish dies, and yet could deftly guide you through the harshest roads, and most importantly, whose confused too-much grey matter never remembers anything on time.....
It can never matter that one gets a payslip now, or that the other sits in a state of the art NYU computer lab, my heart would yearn to go back to those lanes, the streets bazaars, the pasta and the icecreams( devoured by just u..!!) sighing over out-of-reach brands and the head banging in rock concerts and crying our eyes out over Korean romantic flicks.
As the seconds of the mundane life trickle by, vivid images of the glorious past materialise in the mind's eye, with a hopeless lament of how the swiftly flowing sands couldnt be grasped and preserved forever. Terrorizing guys and late night maggi will simply never be the same ever again. Petty boundaries of distance and time cannot dissolve our bond nor dim the plethora of the wonderful memories of four splendid years. So, here's to you,my BFF, all the best wishes from the bottom of my heart, to you every success and timely food...!!
Years from now, when serendipity would bring us back together, I hope we'll have lots of foolish pranks, awful guys, silly crushes , drooling over clothes, serious mistakes and happy moments to share over a chocolate mousse and a brownie delight. Till then , the world is in peace.. :P
Best, always..!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

my note to the rebound

Flashes of the journey fade in the blurring speed
as the wheels screeched onto foreign grounds;
a new smell tugged at the senses-
of the salty waters and freshly washed earth....
so different from the thick chilly fogs and the suffocating taste of tears
different from the confused shallow streams.
The blissful greens and the temporal sea
the selfless rains and the fresh cool gale
pump blood back into a lifeless heart;
and it soars in blissful ignorance when a new sun shines-
breaking through the misery and the infinite gloom
to make flowers blossom and songs flourish.
So, i rebound to the waters running away from my feet,
to the narrow lanes winding upto a wondrous place unknown,
to the majestic cascades through a bus window,
to the loud beats private to the ears
to the rocks on the shores inspiring my words,
to escape the looming shadows of the past
the blood and the pain coursing through the soul;
I run away from the hapless chains of compromise
to search for life in the dense free wilderness...
to drink in all the liberty
to shine forth when the sun smiles on me everytime..
to hold its hands and walk by the coast
and watch the dimming horizons and the giggling stars.
And then when a tiny boat afar struggles for its existence
I rebound to the new found soils; my new home
my magical potion of amnesia
and fly freely, wildly where the heart wants..
my rebound is that sanctuary, my strait jacket
where I can hide my face and drown in silence.
But, somehow, the footsteps would be washed away
Some day, looking back, I'll still be awed by the crashing tides and the glimmering mirages
and then, it will be time to move on..
to migrate to some predestined chapter
but, you, splashed across my mind's canvas,
the brush strokes that hid my disillusions
and helped me escape the plague... will be a sacred retreat
my pillar, my sanctuary
where the salty waters and the damp earth would always bring me back to life.